We saw a paediatrician this morning which turned out to be a very, very good experience. We have had so many comments by various people over the past few years - now echoed by the Kinder (and Creche and Gymbaroo before this) about his “overly active” behaviour. Also associated elements including social interaction, “focus”, clumsy motor skills and very articulate speech. Just the mix of everything together.
To cut a long story short, he officially does NOT have ADD, ADHD, Aspergers, Sensory Integration problems, Motor Dyspraxia or anything else. The paediatrician discounted everything we were told last year about his motor skills (after seeing a video of him bike-riding). He assessed everything and after some time pronounced: “my official diagnosis is that this child is too big for his age”. James is now well above the 97th percentile for height, weight and head circumference. The doctor felt this explained a lot of the constant negative comments I have been receiving the past two years, including the current Kinder issues. He is just too big, too loud and too strong RELATIVE TO HIS AGE. He looks older and so people expect more, and judge him more harshly, and judge us as parents. According to the doctor his attention span, his activity levels, his coordination, his speech, his social and behaviour skills are all within the bounds of reasonable expectations at this age. He thinks the issue is partly that people are looking at him and seeing a 5 year old or a 6 year old, instead of a “just-finished-being-3 year old”.
The other part of this issue is that he is objectively a bit more clumsy, and towards the higher end of “normal” active, and also massively bigger and he is noticeably more articulate. He just comes across as “a bit different”. But again, all within normal limits.
We really liked that this whole thing ended with the doctor pretty much just shaking his head, saying: “He is just a bit different, and everyone is quick these days to jump to giving kids labels if they are a bit different. Children don’t have to all be the same. It is okay to be different.”
He left it open to come back in six months if the Kinder seems to think it is warranted. At that stage, the normal process is to give the child a formal IQ test, then two further testing sessions of motor and verbal skills. But he didn’t seem to think that all that would be warranted.
I am so glad he said that phrase: it is okay to be different. Next time someone makes a comment, I’m just going to tell them that, full stop.
20:32
